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Sicko is Socko | TIME

OK, I get it. George Bush is bad, everybody hates him. But there has to be a point when one examines themselves for subjective opinions and views that might be skewing one’s reaction to an issue. I would argue that time for such reflection would be, oh, I dunno, right before one publishes something in a national news magazine.

Richard Corliss failed to do any sort of introspective soul-searching before writing up his review of Michael “Ham-Chunk” Moore’s new film “Sicko”, if he had he might have done less sycophantic slobbering and more questioning. And folks, when I say ’sycophantic’ I mean sycophantic. Here’s a little taste.

Moore isn’t the first to say that the health care system is sick — that it’s riddled with inequities and iniquities. He’s never the first to address a gut issue, whether it’s corporate greed (Roger & Me), American violence (Bowling for Columbine), the politics of terror (Fahrenheit 9/11). But he’s the one who does it the noisiest, with the highest entertainment value, mixing muckraking with showmanship, Ida Tarbell with P.T. Barnum. His new movie — which has its world premiere tonight in Cannes, and opens in North America June 29th — fits honorably in that tradition. As both harangue and movie tragicomedy, Sicko is socko.

The fact that Corliss can type “honorably” in a paragraph describing Moore’s films blows any credibility he might have had. But the intellectual dishonesty doesn’t stop there. Corliss takes non-sequitur’s to a Jedi-esque level of mind-trickery when defending Moore against his critics:

Already, without having seen the film, anti-Moore websites have collected claims that many Cuban hospitals, unlike the one shown in Sicko, are dilapidated and crawling with cockroaches. Uh-huh. That means they’re almost as bad as Walter Reed’s Building 18, to which Iraq-vet outpatients were sent.

OK, first, we don’t actually have to see the film to comment on Cuban hospitals, Dick. You see, Cuban hospitals have been around a long time, even before Mr. Moore got there with his camera, so commenting on the hospitals themselves does not require seeing the film. Do ya get how that works, Dick?

Second, your rebuttal of the charge is the rhetorical equivalent of “I’m rubber and you’re glue.” “Most Cuban hospitals suck.”
“Oh Yeah! Well, so does your Mother!”

Bravo, Dick. Bravo.

Hardly anyone would deny that since then, the HMOs and pharmaceutical companies have made billions while Americans have health care below the standard of other industrialized countries, and pay more for it.

Well, actually, Dick, I think a lot of people would deny that. I think that most people would argue that it isn’t the standard of care in the U.S. that’s the problem. I think most would argue that it is the cost of such care that has the practical effect of preventing access. But please, feel free to head on down to Cuba for your next check-up.

I’m sure scholars of the U.S. health care system, even those without a political grudge, will be able to poke holes in some of the movie’s arguments, and address some important points the movie ignores.

Ya think? Hey Rich, I’ve got an idea, if you are so certain sure that these poke-able holes exist, why don’t you poke some of ‘em? You are, after all, the one writing the article in the national news magazine with a readership into the tens of millions. You think that might be part of your job? No, no, I forgot, your job is to point out to those already poking holes in this piece of propagandocudrama that their Mother dresses them funny.

Gotcha.

If Sicko doesn’t win over the audience at tonight’s black-tie world premiere, Moore’s francophilia should do the trick.

At some point in my lifetime (I’m not sure when) calculated, strategic insincerity somehow morphed into an admired trait by some. “Hey, the movie may suck, but Michael Moore loves France and hates the U.S, and the French love France and hate the U.S., so as long as he keeps reminding them of that fact, he ought to carry the day.”

Oh. Goodness me. A paragon of virtue, moral courage and strength. Make way for the new fucking John Wayne.

The chronically scruffy auteur may play the game tonight and get all tuxed up. But he’s still a blue-collar kid from Flint, Michigan

Oh, come on. That’s like saying I’m still a bedraggled homeless pot-head because I was one sixteen years ago. He used to be a blue-collar guy from Flint. Now he’s a New York City multimillionaire, who –and I’m gonna go way out on a limb here– likely doesn’t send his wife down Havana way for her pap smears.

So, Dick, the next time you’re given a controversial and political film to review you might try addressing some of the political and controversial issues substantively instead of, well, you know, sucking the film maker’s cock until it’s blue.

*Update*

Tracked back at PJ’s World

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