Ohhh I Wish I Was An Oscar Meyer Weiner

January 17th, 2006 by GoldFalcon

There are just so many things wrong in this story I hardly know where to begin. A good starting point, though, might be:

Meiwes told the court how he severed Mr Brandes’ penis and that they both tried to eat it without success.

OK, how freakazoid do you have to be to want to literally eat a penis? I mean, I don’t even like the texture of kielbasa. Beyond that, how freaky do you have to be to want to eat your own penis? Let’s say you reach that level of “OMFG” disturbed. Letting someone else cut it off certainly has to cross a line, right? Letting the person cut if off with the intention of “sharing” your “meal”? That’s pretty screwed up.

But, to actually go through all of this, the mental gymnastics, the humiliation, the pain…OH MY GOD! THE MOTHERLOVING PAIN! of having someone else cut off your penis…

And then you only try to eat it? What, that part was just too gross? I mean, it wasn’t until he tried to to nibble on his own Vienna Sausage that he decides this is a bad idea?

Other contenders:

“I wanted to eat him, but I didn’t want to kill him,”

Ohhhhh, I see. That makes me feel so much better. I was worried for a second that you were some kind of f^&*g wack job. Now that I know you only wanted to eat him I feel much more safe.

Believing his victim to be dead he stabbed him in the neck, he said. It was only when he saw the video of the crime that he realised Brandes had still been breathing.

Wait, wait, wait…

You video taped it?????

Like you are gonna forget the day you chopped of a penis and ate part of its owner? You need a video reminder? That wouldn’t be burned on your memory? My mental eyeball needs an acid bath after just reading the story…

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18 Responses to “Ohhh I Wish I Was An Oscar Meyer Weiner”

  1. on 17 Jan 2006 at 12:34 pm   Jack

    Pretty sick shit, huh? Did you read tyhe part where the guy he killed wasn’t even the first guy he met do do the whole cannibal thing with? Twisted.

    Good to see you’re back, and interesting post prior to this one. I’ll have some comments and thoughts about it when I’m off the clock tonight. Glad you’re back posting here.

  2. on 20 Jan 2006 at 9:18 am   Katy

    oh holy hell…….what is the deal…..Oh MY FU@%ING GOD!!!! Did they release their names? ould be JackArmy….okay, I am kidding, but you never know about people these days.LMAO

  3. on 21 Jan 2006 at 5:39 am   your mom

    I just wanted to tell everybody today is GoldFalcon’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Son.
    Love Ya,
    Mom

  4. on 30 Jan 2006 at 8:45 pm   toni

    Dang, missed your Birthday. That story is just sick. It’s just plain wrong. I don’t ever want to meet anyone who thinks like that. Ick. Ick.

    Did you ever decide or find out if you’re coming to Tennessee?? You would be sure to let me know about it? Right? :)

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